pissy

So now that Pat and I should be doing some serious planning I'm just so pissy about the wedding and really don't even want to talk about it. There is a list of problems a mile long and I feel like there is no way I can do it all, especially by myself!

1. MOH is MIA and has been for the past, ohhh, 3 months. She all of a sudden moves to a different state without telling me, ok fine, good for her. Then we stopped talking, ok, maybe she's busy. Then David's Bridal calls me to tell me she hadn't ordered her dress yet... WHAT? Seriously? She had like 2 months at home to go order it and now she's in a different state and still hasn't ordered it. So I text her and asked her if she is sure she can get off work for the wedding and she said yes. Ok, do you still want to be in it? Of course she says yes and then replies that she's "not going to be able to help much with the wedding, if at all" Wow thanks for that! Now I don't want to ask my other BM to help because that's really not their role as far as I'm concerned. Sooo frustrating... really I'd rather her tell me she doesn't want to be in it just so I can move on.

2. No money... We have to pay for most of the little things, which are starting to add up really quickly. $400 for favors, $150 for church decorations, $700 for limo, $500 for band, and we still owe the photographer money!!! So $2000 in less than 6 months with only 1 person's income. I seriously just want to scream sometimes!!!!

3. Our band won't reply to us. We are kind of their friends so I asked them to send me a list of their songs over a week ago and I still haven't heard anything back from them. It wouldn't worry me except for the fact that they don't want/need us to have a contract. I know in my gut I'm going to be looking for a dj a month before the wedding.

4. No honeymoon, really? That's part of the fun of getting married, and I'm really starting to believe that my honeymoon will consist of me sitting at home watching tv for the week that I'm off work. How frustrating!!!

I just want to cry... I don't see how it's all going to work and it's causing more stress than it's worth. At the end of the day it should be about my love for Pat and his love for me but that's not how it seems right now. The only thing that can even put a smile on my face right now is my bpics that are next Sunday but even that is kind of depressing because I'm spending more money than I have and I really wanted to get my hair done b/c it is starting to look like crap and I'm not going to be able to do that either. Ahhhh! I think I need a super strong drink :o(